Mr Dog came running up to Mr Midnight, sniffed him, and then replied;
“Not too bad, thanks Mr M. It was great fun winding up Sir Winston the other day wasn´t it. He really fell for it. He´s such a scare-baby. He should know me better by now”.
(For those unaware, the previous post explains the prank played on Sir Winston by Mr M. and Mr Dog)
He can´t help it, poor lad. He´s had a terrible upbringing and now he´s scared of nearly everything. He feels safest when sitting with daddy in the study, peering over daddy´s small printed things with pretty pictures on them.
Mr Dog gazed at Mr Midnight in a puzzled way, wondering what the hell Mr Midnight was talking about.
“What do you mean when you say small printed things with pretty pictures on them? I don´t understand you Mr M.”
I´ve forgotten what humans call them, but they are made out of flimsy material and are very easy to damage. The other day, Sir Winston managed to put his paw through one of them and he pierced the gentleman on the reverse side of the “flimsy thingy”. The things have numbers printed on them. Humans love numbers you know, especially when on bits of flimsy material. 🙂
Mr Dog frowned ever so slightly (however dogs do) 🙂 and then realised what Mr Midnight was going on about.
“You mean postage stamps Mr M. My owner has a few of those things but he tends to use his. Your owner collects the things? That´s a bit strange isn´t it?”
Poor daddy. Poor Sir Winston. They must lead very uneventful lives if they are so easily satisfied examining those things.
No wonder Sir Winston has turned out the way he has. The poor chap hasn´t got a hope in hell of ever “getting normal” if he carries on copying daddy´s example of satisfaction. The very idea of collecting those things seems batty to me.
That´s why I wanted to help Sir Winston discover his self-confidence by playing that prank which appeared in the last posting.
Mr Dog changed position and moved to sit exactly opposite Mr Midnight. He then started to clean himself between his legs.
Mr Midnight, lightly irritated, turned his head to one side so as to avoid what he thought, an unnecessary act of bad behaviour. He blushed ever so slightly (if black cats are able to blush) 🙂 and embarrissingly grumbled;
I´m aware that you´re from another culture – but still, we do live in the Black Forest you know.
Mr Dog stopped cleaning himself, closed his legs, and then crouched next to Mr Midnight.
“Oh, I´m ever so sorry Mr Midnight, I forgot that you cats were so sensitive. I didn´t realise what I was doing. It´s my natural instinct calling.”
Why can´t you behave like us cats? We´re always clean, sleek and we NEVER smell.
Mr Dog was a little perplexed. He didn´t like doing the things he did in public, but on the other hand (or paw as the case may be), he couldn´t fight against his natural instinct.
“I wouldn´t be a dog if I acted like a cat now would I Mr M.? I would look a right fool.”
What makes you want to do those things – and without shame?
I´m aware that dogs have little inclination to experience freedom as us cats and will therefore, often copy their human masters; so I must ask – did you learn such disgusting habits from your master?
Such “happenings” and “goings-off” are not part of our household. It´s quite nice at our place 🙂
Mr Dog was at a loss for words but eventually he replied;
“I´m sorry I offended you Mr Midnight. I´ll think twice next time.”
It´s alright. Don´t worry about it. I can handle it. You must stay true to yourself. You shouldn´t have to be somebody you´re not. Just be yourself Mr Dog – but please try and think a bit ahead when you see me coming. I´d be most thankful if you did. 🙂
Mr Dog started to wag his tail and small drops of slaver formed in the corners of his mouth.
“Thanks for your understanding Mr Midnight. Your comments mean a lot to me. You cats are very observant creatures. Because of a dogs obedient nature towards its master, half the time, we dogs don´t even know what we´re doing. Most of the time, humans drive us potty.”
In which to avoid the blinding rays of the sun, Mr dog raised himself, and then moved to sit on the other side of Mr Midnight.
“I think we dogs get some of our habits from the humans”
The other day, I was watching people go by as I was sitting on some boulders next to the school, and I noticed that a lot of people had disgusting habits. One person spat the stuff which is hanging out of your mouth right now, out infront of him…..
Mr Dog was once again, embarrassed, as he wiped the saliva drooling out of the corners of his mouth.
…………………another person had his trousers hanging half way round his backside which is not a pretty sight, I can assure you. Humans tend to have interesting body sizes too, and many will often dress themselves in the most ridiculous manner. Sometimes, I think that cats are the only creatures with taste and style – although that is naturally, a matter of opinion.
The things some humans get up to. The way some of them act gives the impression that many obviously believe that they are alone on the planet. They selfishly, just look after number 1. Humans often talk about respect but frequently, give little cause for someone to show them respect. Humans love making rules but many seem to avoid abiding by those rules.
Daddy´s not purrfect either, but even he occassionally “moans” about the aggressive driving skills and lack of respect confronting him when he drives to his “fur-styling place”.
Whatever next? Where´s the “civilised” world heading?
Some humans even scratch themselves in the most awful places – and in public!
Mr Dog replied; ” I think humans scratch themselves because humans are related to monkeys and monkeys scratch all the time. If you thought dogs and humans had bad habits, wait until you see a monkey.
Why don´t people (and dogs!) take an example from us cats? We´re always tidy and well-groomed. We don´t have disgusting habits – and if we did, you wouldn´t see us practicing them in public 🙂
It would be nice if humans looked after themselves a bit better. They should treat their bodies as a temple worthy for their soul to reside in.
Although they obviously can´t help it, from my observations, many “temples” seem to be full of rubbish. Isn´t it time that humans had a clear out?
Mr Dog pondered Mr Midnights words but could not come to any immediate conclusion.
“I´ll have to think that one through Mr M. I´ll keep you informed of my progress.
See you around Mr M. and give me five to Sir W. will you?”
For legal reasons, and because of the state of Mr Dogs appearance, the three of us apologise that we were not able to use Mr Dogs photo in this posting. Thank you. 🙂
Copyright mags (C) 2013