Mr M. and Sir W. discover some funny cat sayings

      I don’t think we should be doing this, Mr Midnight. It was foolish of daddy to leave his computer switched on when he left the house this morning.

      Don’t worry about it, Sir Winston. He won’t find out. He’ll be gone for ages, which gives us a lot of time to use the thing. Especially because it’s not really constructed for cat paws.

      The internet is a great source for information, but won’t he notice we’ve been using it because of the cookies?

      As you well know, Sir Winston, I only like the cat sauce in those shiny metal tins daddy produces once a night and as for cookies – well, they’re a little bit difficult to digest for my sensitive stomach. I’m not eating any cookies, Sir Winston.

Look, here’s a quote from a Christopher Hitchens who is an author. It reads;

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God”

      Mr Hitchens must be a very wise guy, Mr Midnight.

      And here’s another great piece of advice for humans from a Bill Dana.

“I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days.”

      This internet thingummabob is quite good, isn’t it?  I never realised that there was so much wise stuff out there.

      You’ve just got to know where to look, Sir Winston.

How about this great saying; “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”

A Mary Bly said that.

      She must be a very observant person.

Can I have a go Mr Midnight? Perhaps I can find something of interest.

      Sure, just move your paws around the keyboard thingy and try not to hit two keys at the same time. It’s not easy with paws.

      Mr Stephen Baker wrote, “Cat’s hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other”.

Great stuff.

Here’s another; “If cats could talk, they wouldn’t”. Nan Porter was obviously, also very wise.

      May I have one last look Sir Winston?

Look at this one from Arthur Bridges, it’s fantastic; “A cat isn’t fussy – just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor.”

This guy, Arthur Bridges must also have been a very wise man but obviously, not very good at building bridges. What’s the point of building half a bridge? You couldn’t get to the other side, could you?

      You shouldn’t drop your “h”‘s when speaking the English language Mr Midnight. Every cat knows that.

I think it’s time to go and look for our pretty patterned saucer to see if it has got any milk in it.

Come on, let’s go.  🙂

 

Copyright MAGS 2020.

 

Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards Winner

      A bit of an unusual posting for my liking but anyway, daddy thought it appropriate that we inform some of our devoted followers that daddy, Sir Winston and myself, managed to get a Bronze Award at the 2019 Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards.

Being a cat, I am not sure what this all means, but daddy seems to be quite pleased, so that is alright with me.

      And it also means that because of this Award thingamabob, Mr Midnight and myself also get extra food rations. The whole business cannot be so bad can it?

      I like winning awards if it means more food sticks. What a great life. Obviously, a few good people are actually  interested in reading our stuff.

      Our book is apparently, available at most online websites, so if you’re interested just pop over to one of them and type “A Helping Paw by Allan Gilmour” and see what comes up on your display thingy.

A few popular websites to find our book are Amazon.com, co.uk, de. Barnes & Noble, Waterstones, or wherever you may find literature at online book stores.

     Anyway, we’ll write a ‘proper’ blog in the near future and once again, thank you to all of those who support us on our blog. We love to hear from you and are most thankful some of you have stuck it out for so long with us.  😉

Copyright (C) MAGS 2020

 

 

Human “groomin”

      Sir Winston, have you also noticed that human beings sometimes appear to lack the art of looking after themselves properly.

We cats are always grooming and washing but some humans obviously appear to think it not so important, at least from what I´ve seen from my observations from the top of the boulders overlooking the school.

      I believe humans do like to get stroked and that they want to care for themselves properly but for some reason, possibly the “time” thingy, washing and caring for ones general appearance doesn´t seem to be high on some human agendas.

       Well, I haven´t seen many pussycats looking straggly and in poor shape. Obviously, wild cats are different but then again, they have to look wild don´t they?

I think it´s a bit of a shame because the human race likes to class itself as being at the top of the evolutionary ladder.  It´s a good job that “sights and appearances” are not part of the concept of classifying oneself as being at the top of the evolutionary ladder.  The human race human wouldn´t stand much of a chance of winning such an award as “Top of the Evolutionary Ladder” if such a contest was based solely on appearance, would they?

      I suppose one shouldn´t judge. Everyone must go through life as they see fit. After all, we cats are not perfect either are we?

      You´re right Sir W. We cats have many faults.

I suppose I noticed so many ragged-looking people simply because as a pussy cat, I like to look at beautiful things. I was a bit shocked, that was all.

Of course, everybody should do what they want and wear what they want.

       In my opinion, grooming not only stops at presenting oneself properly. For me, it also means that I have polite manners and am aware of how I interact with others in my immediate surroundings.

       Quite true Sir Winston. Manners and respect also appear to be traits of yesteryear.

Perhaps manners and respect among humans were also not so high on the agenda in times past but judging from the escapades of today,  values certainly appear to have done a dive.

I mentioned in a previous blog the importance of positive role-models. Orientation seems to be directed towards lower levels of habitation these days. A shame really, especially because it can be so easy to stand-out and be an individual if one applies basic etiquette and humanistic values to one’s life. I try to be a positive role model for other cats myself and although it´s often difficult, through perseverance, I know I can better my character.

       We cats have a lot of time on our paws for “perseverance” Mr Midnight. Humans are so time consumed by their electronic gadgetry. Perseverance requires effort. That´s why it´s easier for us than for humans.

Still, I often see people looking nice when they pass my vantage point, so not all is lost, is it?

(C) Copyright MAGS 2020

 

The end and the beginning

      My, my. What an interesting week we had not so long ago.  The humans had their Easter thingamabob again. Apparently, it is the most important date in their Christian calendar.

      Put the poor humans couldn’t celebrate as normal because of their virus thingy still going around. Still, at least for us pussycats, the virus thingummy and Easter mean we house cats get stroked a little bit more often.

      It’s easy to work out why Easter is so important for the Christian humans – it’s because it’s the end and the beginning of a lifetime.

      I don’t think Christian humans see it quite like that Mr Midnight.

That Jesus chappie managed to get himself killed on Good Friday and then on Sunday, he got up out of bed and was resurrected. A great guy don’t you think?

      A shame he had to get himself killed first though, Sir Winston. Still, nothing’s changed very much since those days. One cannot compare people with that Jesus bloke because he was spiritual, but people who generally, have a lot of good stuff to say on a major scale in society usually, become removed because they are seen as being a danger to those in power. It appears to sadly, be the way of human existence. Thank god we cats have nothing to do with such happenings.

And what’s that thing about Good Friday Sir Winston?  Forgive me if it doesn’t appeal to my sense of humour, but calling a day “Good Friday” for the death of an inspirational, spiritual leader doesn’t quite fit in with my common sense.

      I’ve read in one of daddy’s books that the term “Good Friday” comes from the obsolete sense “pious, holy” of the word “good. It sounds a bit wired but there must be some truth in it. It’s sometimes difficult for a cat to understand human logic.

      Well, I think Easter is a fantastic thing.

One dies and then one is reborn. That’s total animal logic.  🙂

      Oh no, Mr Midnight, the good Christian people believe otherwise. One is born and then, one dies, usually going off to a place of fluffy clouds, harp strings and happiness in the blue sky, or if having been a bad human, one is sent to a very hot, dangerous place forever.

      I’ve heard all about those places and have mentioned once before that if such beliefs are true, then there doesn’t appear to be much hope for the human race does there? It looks like it’s going to get quite full in that hot, dangerous place of eternal suffering.

As all animals in the animal kingdom are aware, such places of eternal bliss or suffering are not a part of our conception.

At some stage, we all die, and then we come back again to further master our soul’s skills. For an animal, it’s common sense really.

      Well, everybody may believe what they wish Mr Midnight. There is nothing wrong with that but as for myself, I think I’ll carry on believing the way we animals believe. After all, nobody really knows, do they?

      It’s common sense, Sir Winston. You know, the sixth sense.

      I was aware Mr Midnight but as an Al Murray once stated, “Common sense is not good enough as it used to be, nor is it common enough”.  🙂

(C) Copyright MAGS 2020

 

 

 

 

“A Helping Paw” – Foreword Reviews Finalist 2019 Indies Book of the Year Awards

      Hello you readers. We just thought we´d send a little message to say that some very nice people over at Foreword Reviews, in a country you call the United States, obviously liked our book, “A Helping Paw” from Sir Winston and myself (not forgetting daddy!).

      They have decided to put it in their “Finalist” list for the Foreword Reviews 2019 Indies Book of the Year Awards.

 

Here is the link with some info and the list of finalists if anyone is interested.

https://www.forewordreviews.com/articles/article/announcing-the-2019-indies-finalists/?utm_source=marketing-email&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2019-indies-finalists-notification&fbclid=IwAR1xTdpMwvZXPaldHwt967oGYN_4-0-cahTLJeTroiSC_2MUpnDwWXCx0FE

 

      Daddy was ever so chuffed, especially after him having a rough time at the moment what with having to buy us our cheap cat food and all that.

If any of you have any time left after having done your “home office” thingamabob, purrhaps you`d like to read about our adventures.  🙂

     We´ll write a proper post again shortly. All the very best from myself, Sir Winston, and Mr Midnight.

 

      And please dear people, keep safe!   🙂

 

(c) Copyright MAGS 2020

 

 

Pussycats and the virus

      Oh, dear. Look, Sir Winston, daddy has started purchasing those yellow and red metal cat food containers again. It looks like we’re going to have a rough ride again.

      I don’t think he means to give us that stuff Mr Midnight. I think it’s simply a case of his finances dwindling due to the virus situation.

      Yes, you must be right Sir W because usually, he is very kind to us.

      Those virus thingamabobs are sometimes, quite dangerous, and that is why the whole world has been brought to a grinding halt with which to sort itself out.

Who would have believed that the whole planet would suddenly grind to a halt just because somebody in Asia had decided to make bat soup. At least that is what is being said in the animal kingdom.

      I was talking to our two cat neighbours, Russian Blue and Siamese Sue the other day, and they were also of the opinion that the latest virus challenge is in place because the planet needs to change its course.

      I heard about that to Mr Midnight. The rumour going around the animal world is that the virus has now arrived with which to force the human race back onto the right track.

The poor things have been destroying our planet for far too long, and because nobody has really done anything about changing their way of life, the virus has been inserted from the universe with which to change the human course so that it can evolve in a healthier way.  The virus is not here in which to destroy and kill everybody.

      If its mission was to destroy the humans then a much more dangerous virus would have been created.

I believe the humans will now eventually get the message and change their ways and at the end of the day, life will become that much more precious. Positive values and compassion will become important again and the human race will find better solutions to treating our planet.

A lot of humans now have a lot of time on their paws. Perhaps one or two of them will now want to read our little book with which to pass the time. It may even cheer them up.

If you google “a helping paw allan gilmour” on Amazon.com you will be able to find it, although it is available at any other Amazon Store or online book store, or so I’m told.

      It’s still all quite frightening though, isn’t it? Everything is now all up in the air.

      Well, I’m quite happy to help the human race (and daddy) by not being rude when he dishes up that horrible stuff out of those red and yellow metal containers.

We all have to suffer a bit at the moment and I think that even cats can contribute to the human effort to get things back to normal again.

      You’re correct in your assumption Mr Midnight. I will also sacrifice my feeding habits for a while if it helps the humans find new solutions and get happier again.

After all, everyone can contribute to getting things back to normal again can’t they?  Even us cats.   🙂

 

Copyright MAGS 2020 (C)

 

A bit of civility

Mr Midnight ran up the hill which overlooked the house and called out; “Catch me if you can Sir Winston”!

      I can’t run any quicker Mr Midnight. Slow down a bit, will you?

Mr Midnight suddenly came to a grinding halt and waited for Sir Winston to catch up with him.

     I’m glad you made it Sir W.  You certainly took your time.

After both having finished their cat washes, they then both sat next to one another and admired the view.

      It’s great up here isn’t it Mr Midnight. I love admiring the view. It’s especially nice sitting next to you so that we can enjoy the view together.

      The feelings mutual Sir W.

I have a lot of respect for you, especially as you had to clamber up that great big hill with all your weight with which to admire such a wonderful sight.

I know you’re not as nimble as myself so I appreciate your effort in wanting to sit next to me on this beautiful green hill.

      Thank you for being so civil Mr Midnight. Civility is a special attribute in this day and age.

      I’ve also noticed that Sir Winston.

The Western world is not undergoing an immoral age as some may suggest, but in fact, it appears to have lost civility.

      A deficit of good manners is quite apparent.

Moral values are higher than they have ever been but there seems to be a decay of what makes the human social machine function – there is a breakdown of mutual tolerance and respect that allows room in a complex plural society for individuals to live their lives in peace.

      I’m glad I am a pussycat. I live my life in peace. I love sleeping!

      I think civility is based on etiquette and politeness which aid to treat one another with consideration. It creates social and psychological space for people  (and cats!) to live their own lives and make their own choices.

The loss of civility means that social feeling has been replaced by defensiveness, with groups circling their wagons around ‘identity’ concepts of nationality, ethnicity and religion, protecting themselves by putting up barriers against others. Society fragments into sub-groups whose members hope thereby to shield themselves against the abrasive, selfishness and disregard of others.

      My goodness. What a world we live in.

I will continue to be civil to you Sir Winston. We cats can at least try to share a bit of civility about a bit.

I’m sure one day, civility will become important again for the humans. I have noticed some of them trying to be civil.

      We cats are patient beings. As always, we’ll just have to wait and stick it out Mr Midnight.

(C) Copyright MAGS 2020

 

A life with humour

      Look at these funny cat pictures, Sir Winston. They are hilarious. I was trying to read that magazine thing daddy left on the woody flat thing in the living quarters when I came upon these wonderful captions.  It didn’t realise that human beings had so much humour.

      Let me take a look Mr Midnight. You know I love good old fashioned, humour.

      I know you do Sir Winston. Humour is the medicine of life. You would have thought the human world would soak more humour up into their lives, wouldn’t you?  Things are often taken so seriously.

      I’m happy to be a little pussy cat because we just live life in the moment and most of the time, we don’t take things seriously. Only when big doggies suddenly appear in our neck of the woods.

Anyway, show me a few of your funny captions Mr Midnight.

      Here you go. How’d you like this one.

      That’s quite good Mr Midnight. Not many animals have 9 lives, do they?

      I quite like this one as well. You know how suspicious human beings are of us cats.

      Some human beings don’t seem to trust us, do they.

Show me another Mr MIdnight. I quite like these caption thingamabobs.

The above caption has something to do with respect, I think.   🙂

      And here`s my favourite Sir W. A classic misunderstanding based on modern-day times. I love it.

      What great stuff Mr Midnight. I always knew the importance of humour but I didn’t think the human world had so much humour.

Perhaps there is a chance for the human world to sort all its problems. If you have humour – that´s a great start!  🙂

 

2020 MAGS

Merry Christmas !

      Thank you for having read some of our postings through 2019.

      We very much appreciate it and hope you enjoyed some of our little escapades.

      And because we are so thankful, Sir Winston and I decided to spend the whole day trawling your internet thingamabob and we managed to find this little video.

      We dedicate it to all people of the planet and to animals all over the world.

     I hope you all have a very merry Christmas with your loved ones and a great 2020!  Hope to see you in the new year.

Thank you for looking at our blog.

Kind regards and meow, meow.

Happy 1st Advent from my two cats!

Sir Winston has just gone out into the garden to see if he can find anything of interest.  It´s quite cold today but he loves his solitude on a Sunday morning.

As he went out, he asked Mr Midnight to wish all of our blog readers a very nice 1st Advents Sunday.

He´s really looking forward to Christmas.  🙂

  Mr Midnight wishes you all a very nice 1st Advent and wants to send you all a big thank you for reading our stuff in 2019.  “Schönen 1st Advent”  !   🙂